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We all experience loss in our lives and so often we soldier on carrying and burying the pain and sadness inside where no one can see. We as a society are taught to be stoic and strong. So we do. We look with pity on those who can’t seem to pull it together. Especially if they are taking too long to get their lives in order. We think if I can do it then they should be able to. And even if we feel broken and incredibly sad we don’t show that to the world. Or at least, we don’t think we do.

I maintain that the sadness is leaking out and shouting to the world at least to those who lead with their souls. We have all seen the women (and men) who are trying so hard to be seen as successful or happy yet are a mess inside. Some of the ones that appear to have it all are the most filled with holes. We might in fact be one of the ones trying to hold it together. I was for many years..

The home we are seeking is one where everyone knows your name and where you are welcomed back no matter how long you have been gone. That home is the part of you that you might be running from. The part that got shut down and told to be quiet as a kid. Its that part of you who was told you were grieving wrong or that you need to buck up. The part that got told this is what you can be or do. The part that cried tears that you had no name for. Or the part that couldn’t cry at all.

The good news is that we all have that home. And as hard as you have looked for it on the outside, in groups or with the latest guru or in bars or in the opposite sex or in alcohol, none of those will fill the hole inside of you. they might allow you to forget it temporarily but the loss and sadness comes back in the quiet of the night or as a random thought on the way to the coffee shop.

When the pain gets to be too much then we might be willing to say ok I’m ready to try anything. I started my journey in the 90’s after my son’s death and at first, it was wonderful I was becoming connected and feeling and learning so much I felt I had finally found the answers. I had a part of the answers however my journey had a fatal flaw I was still relying on my spiritual mentor believing that there was something wrong with me. So when that relationship faltered I was thrown into despair and threw my journey away with the rest thinking that I had gotten it wrong again.

Fifteen long years followed and I was as shut down as could be. So much so that I didn’t cry for anything. You would not have seen the pain I carried inside of me because I still did what I was supposed to do on the outside. My soul was crying to be seen to be acknowledged and I did not know the way to do that. I was ready to start the journey again but didn’t trust myself to be able to find the way again.

This time, I looked inward and after a few missteps discovered parts of myself that had been lost along the way. Rediscovering myself and releasing the old fears of not being good enough brought healing into my life. Owning and allowing my spirit the freedom to choose the path has brought healing to my soul. The good news is that happiness is attainable for all and the circumstances of your life don’t matter.

What is it that prevents us from fulfilling our soul’s purpose? Our human limitations, our stubbornness, our fear of experiencing humility, our ego and our resistance to change are the things that prevent us from releasing the power within each of us. For some women we feel it is selfish to spend time or effort on our own needs. My answer is you were created for a purpose and I don’t believe your purpose is to be the secondary character in everyone else’s life story?

Making yourself appear happy on the outside for the world, yet being as miserable as can be serves no purpose at all. Living on the surface will never bring happiness into your life for a simple reason, you are contradicting yourself. The sad part here is that many of us are somehow aware that we are living in this way, yet we still keep on doing it! My question is just how long are you prepared to ignore your soul’s request? Will you deny it until a more convenient time or perhaps forever?

There are a number of ways you can work with the author to turn your life around. Read her book Raw Leadership: Awaken Your Power Within available on Amazon, Sign up for a free discover call and Join the facebook group at